DID IT.

today i got up with A Plan. ... i was actually fairly chill (i mean, i got up at 10:45am), but definitely Plan on the horizon. (in my defense about the hour, i got back from collecting my other half from the airport at 2am).

i ate my new long-run non-oatmeal breakfast. i timed my coffee drinking for, uh, best results. i drank a big glass of water within 15 minutes of waking. i put on clothes. i checked the weather, i put on different clothes. i reminded myself of the route i'd planned last night. i put new songs on my ipod. (sidenote: this alone should tell you i was capital-f focused because i have a mental block against moving music on and off my ipod, leftover from when i was in a full-on war with iTunes not believing i was ever really totally in the US *or* Canada and so refusing to let me copy/buy/acquire/operate any music, the worst mess, so annoying, but today i had bigger (selfmade) problems so i reminded myself sternly this technohistory is no reason to listen to the same podcasts five times on repeat, when those are free in any event! ... right, ok, regroup. i downloaded several pretty great running songs, actually, and two pretty memorable Radiolab podcasts, and listened to them all later on. relatedly: never get rabies. but back to the story.)

then, i got suited up. the plan was to have with me everything i would need on actual race day. i told you i got this thing that acts like a belt/fanny pack without looking douchey/hitting you in the back every three steps? it's basically a bandeau of somewhat spandexy material you wear around your hips containing three pockets. except for a shockingly embarrassing sparkly logo on one side, which i make sure to always cover with my shirt, it's pretty rad. so in that thing, i had my phone, one GU (see below), and a small amount of mini pretzels in a ziplock bag. i have this other little pouch with velcro that attaches to your shoelaces, and in that i had my driver's license (see below), a credit card in case of god knows, and my house keys. i also had this handheld water bottle with a pretty remarkable strap that makes it nearly effortless to run with, which i am seriously starting to consider running with on marathon day (see below), filled with 16oz of doublestrength Nuun (electrolyte-y drink with less sugary than Gatorade), and it has a pocket that contained about 8 swedish fish. and i was wearing my ipod, and my garmin watch.

i put on my running shoes, and all of these things, and while i didn't feel burdened in any way, i also suspected it looked like i thought i was going on a NASA mission. even the dog -- who usually shows little understanding of human outfits, since when i leave the apartment wearing my pjs to put in a load of laundry she will come to the door and beg me not to go, apparently thinking that's an outfit i might wear on a long trip -- even the DOG gave me a confused look. the other half previously mentioned just looked a little incredulous. 'HOW long are you going to be gone?' i took a deep breath and said ... 'between three and a half and four hours'.

i left the house, took four steps, came back to pee. ever was it thus.

aaaand: then i went out and i ran twenty miles.

sorry, i should have put that different.

PEOPLE I RAN TWENTY MILES. 20!!! MILLLLESS!
THE NUMBER OF MILES I RAN HAS A TWO IN FRONT OF IT!

... even as i was running, i thought: 'there's no way i'm getting through this blog post without a little all-caps action.' but i think it's out of my system now.

the verdict on the whole thing is that i done good. i finished the first ten miles in 1:40 near-exactly, so that's 10 minute miles, and the whole thing in 3:23:30, so around 10:12 min/miles. meaning, i ran faster in the first half (not the goal) but not insanely faster. and my last miles were not the slowest.

the weather was just about perfect for running -- i mean, cloudy, 12-14C, no rain, some wind. actually i got too cold in the wind a few times. i spent a lot of brainpower on (again i hate this word but that's where i'm at apparently) 'fuel': drinking some liquid quite frequently, but in the small amounts that the squeezy bottle-top permits, so i never got the stomach-sloshing feeling. i ate all my swedish fish, and about half the pretzels (pro tip -- you want REALLY SMALL pretzels pieces when you've got no saliva left.) i also had my first GU-consumption experience. those things ... man, maybe i *was* preparing for a space voyage; i felt like a Jetson slithering that thing into my mouth. anyway it was a fascinating tactile experience, and next time the role of GU will be played by jelly beans.

as for route: i ran to all the places. seriously, 20 miles is a long way. i thought it might be helpful to not be on a typical routes, to make it feel more like a race where you're not doing your normal thing, and also include lots of different locations: campus, trail, city, suburb, forest, field. i got all of that. i found aNOTHER nature preserve i didn't know about! which was great because i got lost in it for two miles, allowing me to skip two miles which would have involved needless detour near the campus poulty research facility (not a particularly pretty or pleasant smelling area. did i mention it's right beside the pig research facility. i'm not kidding.) i hadn't really thought about the location of hills, because there are so few here relatively speaking... but i hit a couple, one familiar one at mile 4, some kind of notable ones at miles 9-11, and then there's this fairly rolling bit on the way home that i managed to schedule for miles 17-18 (smart move, yeah. but back to that in a minute.)

at mile 10 i thought: halfway! and out of nowhere these three college guys appeared, dressed in serious spandex, not runners by trade but clearly varsity something, running to crosstrain. they passed me, talking casually like they were lounging on a patio, moving at probably 7:45min/mile pace. whatever! i let 'em fly on, and i noticed that they slowed down on the hill ahead of us (a little) while i did not (mostly -- the point is i gained on them). as soon as the hill was over, they disappeared like rabbits but i felt pretty cool, to be honest.

at mile 13, i thought: ok, pretend like it was last weekend, and you're running a half. at this point, you were six miles in (counting the seven from the night before), and you had seven left. how do you feel? ... i felt about the same as last weekend. but i'd done them all contiguously. and then i knew, KNEW i would finish it today.

there were some hard miles, but nothing worse (or even maybe as bad?) as the puke-y miles from thursday. mind you, i was running more than a minute per mile slower; that sure matters. but it was really all mental. i stopped at a water fountain at mile 16, and i could tell that if i stopped moving my legs were gonna start stiffening, so i didn't stop long. and it was ok. i started getting runner's brain at mile 18 (like, i forget how to operate my ipod, or can't figure out what 26-18 is, meaning how many miles i will need to run after 18 during the marathon to get to the end), but again, i knew i would get over it.

the first half of mile 18 is pretty much uphill. yes, see again: small idiocy in planning. however, here's what was happening on the sidewalk for like half of that mile: rushing. by which i mean, standing completely still. ... um, i guess it's Rush Week? all i know for sure is that i was running past a lot of sorority houses, and the lawns and driveways outside each of them were filled with piles of women (maybe 30 per house) waiting for i have no idea what. they were loosely organized into lines, coming out of each house's door, and they all looked like they were at a slightly tense mixer. meanwhile, i was 18 miles into a run wearing pretty smelly apparel and a salt lick for a complexion. we were, in fact, in completely different worlds.

but i was by now on a mission to finish. so: ok, full disclosure, i flipped my ipod back to the part of the playlist with the highly questionable choices, and Katy Perry ('Roar', I know, I gotta get me a sorority pin) got me to the top of the hill, and Eminem got me to the last big long block before home (did you know that the song '8 mile' is exactly the right speed for a tired-legs running cadence? true story.)

and when my watch beeped distance 20:00... i *kept going*. well, i was about 3 mins run from home, and as i mentioned i was worried my legs would seize up if i stopped. i stopped my watch, and i walk/jogged back home. but the point is: i was uncomfortable, but i really could have kept going.

BOOM.

this will be my only without-stopping 20 mile run. i am going to juggle around a couple of the distances to split the difference between the original plan and the 'novice' plan, but my longest run left will i think be 15 miles, maybe 14. that sounds too short right now, but we'll see. there's a lot of 'don't fuck it up by thinking you need to make up for lost time in the weeks before the race', and i hear that.

so, now. thoughts for next time (meaning the REAL DEAL next time.)

1. the only thing i forgot to bring with me: kleenex. oh my god, why am i systematically unable to remember the existence of snot when getting ready for a run? may need to put a post-it note on my garmin that says YOU HAVE A NOSE.

2. why did i run with my driver's license? ... i think i've decided i'm not going to run with my passport. i know, they COULD ask me for it. it COULD be a nightmare. but really? ... they're not going to. and it is so unwieldy and i don't want a damp passport. i might rethink this, but i know it will be fine.

3. i am going to remove today's best running songs off my ipod, and not put them back until the day before the race. they will stay crisp and inspiring! actually at one point i got so inspired i almost ran into a railway crossing turnstile, so clearly i gotta save those big guns till it's really go time. (the relevant song is pretty fantastic even if you're not running -- 'Get Some' by Lykke Li, just don't really think about the words -- so if you like slightly dark swedish pop music with some kick-ass drums, check it out).

4. my only real worry now: what happens when i finish running? today when i stopped, i walked about 30 seconds, got inside, climbed the stairs, had a glass of water/gatorade mix, and i semi-immediately lay down to stretch. for about 10 minutes, my hamstrings, hip flexors and inner thigh muscles were NOT happy -- definitely better than two weeks ago after the 16 mile melodrama, but still crampy and achy in a way that really required i be lying on my back with my legs in the air, or contorted in some way or another. (interestingly, my calves and quads have never cramped or freaked out in that way. knock on compression socks?) ... once that got better, i stood up, wobbled to the kitchen, had some protein cuz i knew i needed it, and then got in a hot shower for about 15 minutes. (don't talk to me about ice baths, ok? i know, but just don't.) and then finally, i was fine again.

but my understanding is that when you finish a marathon -- you don't get to lie down semi-immediately. you have to keep walking. there's like a chute situation, they give you your medal and stuff... but then, there's 6000 people running this thing. you can't just stop right there, on the pavement, surrounded by thousands of people, and put your legs in the air. maybe the adrenaline will help? hopefully there will be screaming people? my legs might say 'ok, we get away from the all the screaming, THEN we cramp'. ... but i kind of doubt it; they seem pretty focused, the bastards. so: i don't think there's anything to be done about this, i just need to be ready for some distinct unpleasantness when i stop. and there's no way i'm getting a shower after this nonsense, because i doubt i'll be finished running much before noon, and hotel check out is 11am -- even if i could get us late check-out, it's not gonna be till like 2pm, is it? no matter what, we'll have to walk some, and there will be a 90 minute drive ahead of us. yeah, there's gonna be some kinks in that bit of the plan.

anyway. my dad will be there. i will provision him well. maybe he can bring me a portable shower. (note: not really.) mom, he WILL definitely have your magical 70s crosscountry skiing socks with him. i'm wearing them right now, as a matter of fact. they are like Chicken Soup for the Calves. (note: nobody write that.)

my final thoughts (finally) tonight are about time. from today's effort, i think that finishing in 4:20 is looking not too impossible. so i'm going to aim for sub-4:20 as my A-goal. more realistic is probably under 4:30. i did a pretty good job of not-garmin stalking today, and i definitely did not ever switch it over to pace mode -- sometimes i caught the mile marker paces and sometimes not. this felt wise. and i'm going to keep telling myself, every time i run, that the primary goal is to finish and not actually wreck myself in the process. i must get myself into the mind space where finishing five minutes faster is less important than not wanting to self-lobotomize at mile 23.

so, that one's in the books. even if the city of detroit is actually *cancelled tomorrow* (not entirely impossible, given current municipal politics), i will still have run twenty miles in one go.

that's a thing i did.
and i can still walk.
go team.